Ready … or Not? How Does a Guy Know if He’s Ready to Commit?

Source:www.twoofus.org

You’re weary of the singles scene. Your bachelor buddies are dropping like flies. Your mom wants grandkids. And you’ve spent one too many nights alone. But does any of that mean you are ready for marriage, or even a deeper level of commitment?

How does a guy really know if he’s ready? Before you commit, take a personal inventory of your status and priorities. Some questions to ask yourself:

What’s important to you?
The loss of some personal freedom is inherent in any committed relationship. Are the rewards of a close, meaningful relationship worth more to you than the ability to go wherever you want, whenever you want? If not, you may not be ready to commit.

What can—and can’t—you live with?
You will never find the perfect woman. Never. Accepting that reality can be liberating. It doesn’t mean you lower your standards, it just means you understand what realistic standards are. Decide what qualities are most essential to you in a woman. Know what attributes will drive you insane. Don’t worry so much about everything else in the middle.

Where do you keep your baggage?
We all have some baggage from past relationships. The question is, is your relationship baggage stowed safely on a shelf, or are you still carrying it around on your back? Before you enter a committed relationship, make sure you have put some emotional distance between you and your pain. Otherwise, you may unfairly project old issues onto new relationships.

Does the thought of monogamy terrify you?
For most people, commitment means monogamy. And for many, monogamy is a frightening prospect. Despite the myth that marriage ruins sex, research suggests that married men report higher levels of sexual satisfaction than both sexually-active singles and cohabiting couples. But if such research leaves you unconvinced and you don’t think you can be faithful to one woman, commitment may not be for you.

How are your finances?
You don’t have to be a millionaire, but men who are relatively financially stable are more likely to have successful marriages. Like emotional baggage, debt is something you don’t want to drag too much of into a relationship. If you have significant debt, this may be something you want to tackle before heading into a deeper commitment. While debt can strain a relationship, marriage can actually have a positive impact on a man’s financial situation. Married men earn 10 to 40 percent more than single men with similar credentials. And median household income has risen faster for married men than single men. Between 1970 and 2007, median household income rose 60% for married men versus 16% for unmarried men. Some of this increase is attributable to the rise in dual-income households—when men married in 1970, they rarely gained an additional breadwinner. Now women make up nearly half of the workforce and their earnings grew 44% between 1970 and 2007 (Pew Research Center).

So after reviewing the questions above, does settling down sound appealing … or just like settling?

A committed relationship can seem daunting, but it is not without its rewards. Married men are healthier, more affluent and more sexually satisfied than their single counterparts. In order to fully appreciate these rewards, however, you must first determine their worth to you and weigh these against any real or perceived sacrifices associated with a committed relationship.